I believe that one of the best ways to connect with people and build
quality relationships is through making conversation. Although most
people can hold a conversation, only a few are smooth and charismatic
when they talk.
Working as a communication coach, I have explored and tested many
techniques for improving conversation skills. I have discovered 7
simple and effective ways to be a smooth talker. Here they are:
1. Talk slowly
Typically, good talkers don’t rush into a conversation. They take
their time when they reflect on something and when they say it out
loud. They act as if they have all the time in the world. This makes
them come off as centered and collected. Model this way of talking and
you will create the same effect.
2. Hold more eye contact
Most people keep eye contact about 2/3 of the time or less when they
talk. In my experience, it’s a very good idea to hold eye contact just a
bit more than that. This will convey confidence and interest in
interacting with them.
3. Notice the details
People with good conversation skills tend to notice the kind of
things that the average person doesn’t notice, and to bring such
details into the conversation. They may notice and point out an
interesting ring on the other person’s hand, a certain foreign accent,
or a certain voice tone they use when saying a name. Thus, such
individuals impress people in a very elegant manner.
4. Give unique compliments
Anybody can pay a generic compliment to try and get another person’s
appreciation. Charismatic people on the other hand are able to really
pay attention to others, to look beyond the facade and thus, pay unique
compliments. Do the same and besides wooing others, you may even help
them find out things about themselves they didn’t know.
5. Express your emotions
It’s very rare to meet a person who is comfortable talking about
their emotions and how certain things make them feel, especially with
strangers. Yet this way of talking is a real virtue. Don’t just present
the facts, you’re not a newspaper. Express your feelings about those
facts. Keep in mind that it is at the emotional level that people
connect best.
6. Offer interesting insights
Anybody can talk about the news or express basic opinions. But good
talkers can frequently tell you things you didn’t know and that you’ll
find fascinating. This is why it’s good to have knowledge into fields
such as psychology or sociology, and bring such knowledge out at the
right moments in a conversation.
7. Use the best words
The ability to talk smoothly has a lot to do with choosing the
precise words to convey your precise feelings or thoughts. Constantly
develop your vocabulary and practice communicating as accurately as
possible. It will help you develop a way with words and allow you to
express yourself more easily.